#4 Building the Boldness Muscle

Being bold doesn’t mean taking big, risky leaps. It often starts with small, seemingly insignificant steps.  When everything in me wants to stay quiet, but I speak anyway... 

This is the moment I realize that I'm taking bold steps.  Not all of them have to be big scary ordeals though. For me, some of my boldest (is that even a word?) moves have been small, but really important.  Like trusting my voice when it was my turn to speak.  Like speaking up for someone else when I saw them being quieted.  Like making the decision myself and trusting my gut. 

Boldness isn't something I just have - it's something I work on a little bit, everyday.  As I grow older, gain experience, encounter life and it's ups and downs, I continue to encounter moments where I have to choose be safe, or be bold.   

Building boldness is like using muscles you've been neglecting.  When I feel them it reminds me of those little armpit muscles - you know, those ones that feel sore after hand-washing the Jeep - no, just me?  Well anyway, at first those little muscles, they are sore, you actually 'feel' the impact of being bold.  The shaking voice, the sweaty palms, the dry mouth.  But the thing is the more you use these muscles, even in the tiniest of ways, you build them.  They are getting stronger as you use these muscles and practice being bold.  

Building the boldness muscle, it looks like this:

• Building inner authority.  Trusting yourself.  You have the answer, you know what you want and what will feel 'right' to you.  Taking a moment to 'pause' - yes, it's my go-to move, pause before leaning into your boldness.  Take a moment to consider your moves, and then, act with boldness.  Trust your gut, trust yourself.
• Keep a decision journal.  You've had moments where you made decisions and had great reasons for them.  Documenting your decisions, and your reasoning, might seem a bit odd (especially for small stuff) but when you do, you begin to see your inner authority in action.  When you look back over the steps you've made it can help you to regain your confidence when uncertainty tries to creep in.
• A bounce-back plan.  You are human.  Things won't always go as planned.  We can't be everything to everyone, nor are we meant to be.  Preparing for criticism before it happens can be incredibly empowering.  You made your decisions, you have your reasoning, and you're taking steps and learning.  
• Small brave steps.  Building boldness muscle doesn't have to be done through big life changing moments, it starts with small, brave, deliberate steps outside your comfort zone.  Every time you take a small step out in courage you create momentum and build confidence for taking bigger steps.
• Keep a brag file.  This might seem strange.  Really? You want me to document my 'wins' big and small?  That time you stood up and said your name in a room - Yep, that's a win.  That time you showed up to that webinar not knowing a single soul - Yep that's a win.  That time you signed up for something to better yourself, and then even though you had your doubts, you jumped in both feet.  YES - THIS IS A WIN!  When you document your wins, big and small, you provide evidence you can look back on to prove - 'You've got this!'. 
• Build mentorship circles.  We talked about this just last week.  When we look for those in our corner, are you surrounded by women (and men) who support you, have your back, speak truth and show love, or are you surrounded by voices who challenge your courage and poke holes in your confidence?  

I'm not asking you to be fearless.  I'm afraid everyday.  The goal in building this boldness muscle is to step up despite our fear.  Every time you choose to be courageous you're stretching your comfort zone.  Every time you trust your judgement, you reinforce your own authority. 

Acting in boldness, it's contagious!  When you do, you give others permission to try it too.  These small steps we take today, become giant strides in confidence.   

Let’s take them together.

My challenge to you this week:

Challenge #1: Visibility Boost.  Share something publicly that you've been holding back, maybe it's an idea, a project you're working on, or a perspective you have.  Boldness means being seen, practicing visibility can help build confidence and reduce fear of judgement.  

Challenge #2: Boundary Reset.  Identify one area where you've been overextending yourself.  Practice resetting a clear boundary without guilt or over-explaining.  Boldness means protecting your energy.  Saying 'no' or 'not right now' is a quiet, yet powerful, act of self-respect.  Every time you say “no” to something that drains you, you’re saying “yes” to your well-being, your priorities, and your peace. 

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Are you fighting to be seen, heard, and valued? Longing for the confidence to show up and speak up, looking for more 1:1 encouragement or interaction? Let's chat.